Fake it Till You Make it

It’s so easy to get imposter syndrome when being surrounded by people at work or at school who you think are smarter or better than you. But the truth is, they probably think the same way you do. No one goes through life knowing everything about it. Influencers, celebrities and your old friends who post their lives on social media may look like they have everything figured out, but you never truly know what’s going on behind the cameras because you’re only seeing their best moments. 

Maddy from the HBO show Euphoria once said, “90% of life is confidence. And the thing about confidence is no one knows if it’s real or not.” Someone who seems confident and self-assured is oftentimes more trustworthy than someone who obviously does not believe in themselves, which is why a lot of people will fake that confidence until they actually have it. It’s the age-old technique of “Fake It Till You Make It”. 

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What exactly is “Fake It Till You Make It”? 

It is the mindset that as long as you tell yourself you’re confident and you practice self-confident habits, real confidence will eventually come naturally to you. It follows the Law of Assumption; assuming something is true will eventually make it true.This methodis a great way for someone to practice confidence despite not feeling it deep inside yet. The hope is that eventually, if you keep “faking it”, you will one day actually “make it”. 

A great start to implement itis by changing how you carry yourself. When you see someone who looks cool and self-assured, they are not slouching or twiddling their thumbs nervously. They’re often standing or sitting up straight like they’re ready to have their picture taken. Your body language can tell others a lot about you without you having to say anything, so you have to put out a good message. 

Some ways you can exhibit confident body language are:

1. Maintaining good posture: 

Confident people are not afraid to take up space, so acting as if you’re also unafraid to take up space will make people think you’re confident. Keeping your shoulders relaxed and away from your ears, your back straight and your chin up can show others that you are a cool and calm person even if you don’t feel cool and calm inside. 

1. Watching what your hands do:

Keeping your hands in your pockets can signify to some that you are hiding something. Twiddling your thumbs and fidgeting are also signs of anxiety and nervousness. It can be hard to stop fidgeting, especially when it’s how you usually calm yourself. But just starting to be aware of your nervous habits can be a great way to start practicing confident body language. 

1. Making eye contact.

This one may be a bit more complicated for some people; some autistic individuals cannot due to sensory overload. Some cultures also find too much eye contact to be disrespectful. Ways to get around these things are faking eye contact by looking at a spot somewhere close to their eyes or occasionally taking breaks from eye contact. The idea is that you want to look attentive, at ease and sure enough of yourself to allow others a glimpse into your soul. 

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Good posture has been linked to not only physical health, but also mental health. Practicing good posture has been linked to a higher chance of confidence and belief in oneself. A study done at Ohio State University in 2009 revealed that the students in their experiment who sat up straight had more confidence in their beliefs about their future professional performance, whether they were positive or negative. Meanwhile the ones who slouched were less confident and seemed less convinced by their own beliefs. While good posture may not immediately make you feel more confident, it can subconsciously generate more confident thoughts, all the while making you look more like you actually know what you’re doing. 

Another method that some people use to be confident is by developing an alter ego. An alter ego is defined as a “second self” or a “different version of oneself”, basically a character that is based on parts of you but is not really you. The idea is that if you act as a particular character, it’s easier to pretend you are a more confident and self-assured person. Many famous people use alter egos or “stage personas” to establish a strong personality for the stage; Beyoncé herself is one such example. 

When you think of Beyoncé, you often think of this strong confident woman with one of the world’s most powerful voices. But did you know that back in 2008, she had an alter ego named Sasha Fierce? When she released her 3rd solo studio album I Am…Sasha Fierce, Beyoncé also revealed Sasha Fierce as her alter ego and stage persona. Sasha Fierce, as described by Beyoncé, was her “fun, more sensual, more aggressive, more outspoken side and more glamourous side”1 that she believed was different from her real life persona. 

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On stage, Beyoncé could pretend she was not “Beyoncé Knowles”, but rather “Sasha Fierce” in order to put on the persona of someone more confident. In February of 2010, when she grew more comfortable with herself and no longer needed that persona, Beyoncé “killed” Sasha Fierce. Beyoncé was an example of Faking It Till You Make It with an alter ego. She acted as this “Sasha Fierce” character until she was able to see that she is innately just as glamorous and outspoken as Sasha Fierce was, which then resulted in them “becoming one”. 

There are, however, some things you cannot fake. Fake It Till You Make It is good for your internal struggles and self-confidence issues, not for what you are truly capable of doing. If you fake an ability and it turns out you cannot do said ability, you are just flat-out lying. However, there are ways to get around that. You can’t fake having a skill, but you can acknowledge that it’s outside your comfort zone and that you’re still learning. There is also nothing wrong with asking for help; you are not weak or less competent for doing so. In fact, asking for help can boost people’s perception of you, it shows you see them as competent enough to ask something of them and that you care more about results. It can be hard to ask for help when you’re so used to doing everything yourself and you want to be seen as capable, but you’d be surprised to know how many people feel good when they get asked for help. 

Ultimately, “Fake It Till You Make It” is not meant to last you forever, it’s meant to help you practice self-confidence habits until they come naturally to you. However, progress is not linear, and confidence is not built overnight. Hopefully, as long as you keep practicing confidence, one day you’ll truly feel confident inside.